ESSAY 1 REVISED
After reading my colleagues' work and sharing ideas, I realized I could
improve my first essay by adding key ideas I was missing. Let's get started!
   Who wouldn't want love,affection,and happiness with personal relations. I completely agree with E.M. Forster's ideology on personal relations because people will have better communication skills,have a healthy, long-lasting life spand, and happiness in their life.  
   To continue, I believe that E.M. Forester's view is a firm assertion. For example, having a good bond with family,friends,co-workers,managers,etc. leads to very good communication skills that show interest in one another, and importance of what personal relations lead too. To add to this, people that do not have good communication skills tend to show negative results leading to sickness and unhappiness. Other than,having good communication skills we also have a long-lasting life spand. To back this up, I use my family as an example, I am surrounded with people that have possitive attitude, humorous personality, and kind hearts. I am sure your families are filled with brilliant personalities, but being surrounded with people that are always with a possitive mind set leads to a long-lasting life which means more years to enjoy and live. Lastly, personal relations lead to happiness in your life. For instance, people you love will always make you happy no matter what, this is my opinion of having happiness in your life because of personal relations.
    Because personal relations are the primary purpose, of E.M. Forster's view and my agreement to his idea. I believe patriotism is NOT important. Yes, patriotism signifies devotion toward their country,but is not as important like personal relations which show love,affection,and happiness. For example, the only time of year people have or show "patriotism" would be Fourth of July, which they dress up in the American flag colors and blow up fireworks, to me this is not as important as personal relations. To add to this people will not always have pride toward their country or be loyal to them.
 To sum up, I believe that E.M.'s assertion is important rather than patriotism. As primary evidence of what personal relations cause and prove why I believe personal relations are more important than patriotism. I'm proud of the result. Hope you enjoy reading it.

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